Dating Advice
by Crystal-LeeAFFN
Summary: YAY! Another Oneshot! Rated K  for mentions of suicide. Includes OC, brief Spain X OC, and most het!Spamano. This was really, really, fun. Also includes established het!USUK, PruCan, Rochu, Giripan, France X OC and GerIta.


**A/N: Something I came up with while in a cafe in Paris.**

**This is a Spamano...type...thing.**

**Bella Switzerly is my OC, and she doesn't represent any country.**

**This is very, very OOC, and I know Spain is OOC...but it's just because he's younger and more...say, rowdier than the real Spain. And Lovina is Lovina.**

**Readers, tips, please?**

**I don't own Hetalia.**

**Enjoy!**

_*Dating Advice*_

**December 2012**

_Antonio's Perspective_

I always liked café waitresses.

Always have, always will.

They seem to be helpful and kind at almost all times.

And Italian waitresses...

My name is Antonio Carriedo Fernandez-Vargas. I'm twenty.

But I remember a time when it was just Antonio Carriedo Fernandez.

I was eighteen when I met her.

My wife. Lovina Romana Vargas-Fernandez. At this moment, she's nineteen.

She was once just Lovina Romana Vargas as well.

Let me tell you our story.

It was in the year 2010 when we met...

_*Dating Advice*_

**December 2010**

_Lovina's Perspective_

"Sorella! Ve...shortcake for table fifteen!" called Feliciana Venezia Vargas, my younger sister.

I swept the cake onto my tray with the drinks and brought it over to the table.

It was Alfred Frederick Jones and his girlfriend Alice Kirkland again.

I knew them because we all go to high school together. We're in senior year.

They say that the two are secretly engaged.

"Your usual." I said briskly, serving the food.

"Hi, Lovina!" said Alfred.

"Hello, Lovina. Are you ready for your Year End tests?" asked Alice.

I shrugged and walked off.

"Hey, Lovina, I need your help tying the knot." called Bella Switzerly.

Bella was my best friend, based on mutual hate of Ludwig Beilschmidt, Feli's boyfriend.

I walked over to help her and the door swung open again.

Bella dived under the counter and I looked up.

Antonio Carriedo Fernandez and his two idiot friends, Francis Bonnefoy and Gilbert Beilschmidt, Ludwig's brother.

Speaking of potato bastard, he was there too.

Antonio never noticed me at school, and well, I suppose it was because he was popular.

He was from the Mediterranean, very nice place to stay at that time.

I sighed and grabbed Bella's arm.

I pulled her up sharply exactly as Antonio reached the counter.

"Good morning." she stuttered. "May I take your order?"

"Um...I want a cupcake, two pints of beer, and a tomato." he said.

"Sorella, did you get that?" I shouted.

Feliciana flashed me a thumbs up.

I picked up two pint sized jugs from the bar and filled them to the brim with Heineken and threw them down the bar.

Gilbert and Ludwig caught the free rolling jugs and smiled.

"Sorella!" shouted Feliciana.

I picked up the cupcake and took two tomatoes from the fridge, tucking one into my pocket.

I walked to his table and set the things down.

"Anything else?" I asked.

"Yeah." said Antonio. "What's your name?"

His hand found the small of my back.

I placed my hand on his shoulders, knee pressing between his legs.

"My name is Lovina Romana Vargas...and I hope you had good service." I said, increasing the pressure of my knee.

Then I let go and left, throwing my tomato in the air and taking a bite of it.

Great job, Lovina.

Great job.

_*Dating Advice*_

_Antonio's Perspective_

The next day, when I went to school, I saw her again.

She was laughing with Bella.

Wow, Bella. Bella was beautiful, absolutely beautiful.

Blonde hair that curled delicately over her shoulders.

Green eyes like mine that sparkled whenever she was happy.

Petite and delicate frame and a calm and sweet disposition.

And she was contrasting with Lovina.

Lovina, the girl who has fire in her heart.

Brown haired, amber eyed.

She was as pretty as Bella, granted, but she was rough, slightly mean, and a swearer.

But there was something about her...

I don't know what.

I do wonder if she'll give good advice.

I'll ask her this afternoon, then.

_*Dating Advice*_

_Lovina's Perspective_

Antonio came back to our cafe.

He asked for me specifically.

I sighed and came up to him.

"Yes?" I asked.

"I need your help." Antonio pleaded.

I rolled my eyes.

"What?" I asked.

"Your friend, Bella, I want to ask her out. How do I do that?" asked Antonio.

I started laughing.

Feliciana looked up from her perch on the counter.

"Hey, Lovi!" she called. "Ve...you can take a break to help 'Tonio, okay!"

I pulled off my apron and adjusted my pink hairband.

"Oh, man, you're in for it. Last I asked her she likes a man who can sing." I said.

Antonio smiled.

"I can sing." he said.

"Good, it'll be a good turn on for her." I said. "Must we do this?"

"Por favor?" asked Antonio. "All just acting, promise?"

Por favor?

...Crap, he's Spanish.

That's hot...not that I'll ever tell him that.

"Per favore, per favore..." I muttered. "Fine. Let's go."

Antonio perked up, took my hand and dragged me off.

I let him drag me off.

Sigh...

The things I do for Bella.

_*Dating Advice*_

_Antonio's Perspective_

I led Lovina to the gazebo near my house.

"Okay, so what do I do?" I asked.

Lovina chuckled and her amber eyes sparkled when she did.

"You're an idiot. Bella is my best friend, and I can help you with her. If you want to try the direct way, I'll tell her about you and if she likes you, she'll go for it. If not...well, let's begin with the right items. Diamonds are a girl's best friend, but not Bella's." she said.

"Then what does she like?" I asked in exasperation.

Lovina glared at me with an angry pout on her face.

Yeah, it was cute.

"Listen up, Spagna bastardo. If you want my help, you'll get it. You have to loosen up. Geez, I can probably fit a stick up your ass!" she hissed.

I shrunk back.

"Fine, fine!" I whimpered.

Lovina sighed and jingled some coins in her hand.

"Coffee?" she enquired.

"Really?" I asked.

"If you don't want any, fine." she announced, and made a beeline for the coffee stand.

"Wait, I want some too!" I called, running after her.

Yeah. This was fun.

_*Dating Advice*_

_Lovina's Perspective_

Antonio and I reached the stand in one piece, thankfully.

"What do you want?" asked Antonio.

"I can pay for myself, Spagna." I said, elbowing him in the stomach. "If you must know, I want Italian coffee."

"I want a latte." said Antonio, springing back up as if he was used to it.

I told our orders to the girl at the stand.

"So, how long you two been dating?" she asked, orange hair tied up in a ponytail and violet eyes sparkling.

"Oh, we aren't..." I began.

"Sure about that?" asked the other girl at the store, silver hair flowing freely and red eyes shining.

**(A/N: Yuki/Kyo love children FTW!)**

"Absolutely." Antonio and I said at the same time.

"Seems like you are." laughed the first, handing me the coffee.

"We're not." I assured her, and left with the coffee in hand.

I handed Antonio the latte and sat down.

"So what does she like?" asked Antonio.

"Hm? Bella? Oh, she likes someone who can sing, check, and last I asked, she likes all that is you." I said nonchalantly.

"Really? Hey, listen!" said Antonio.

The song 'Living La Vida Loca' came on the radio.

Antonio stood up and held out his hand.

"Dance?" he asked.

I shook my head, but he pulled me up anyway.

"Dance with me, Lovi!" he said.

Lovi?

Since when did that nickname come up from?

Before I could ask him, he had swept me into a tango.

I groaned, but went through with it.

He picked a rose from one of the bushes and held it between his teeth as he danced with me.

I kept up with him, somehow exactly knowing how to tango.

I sometimes took control, but I let him bend me back for the end of the dance, shaking the leaves of the tree right above us.

There was whooping and clapping and we stood up.

"Go, you two!" shouted the girl with the orange hair.

Alice and Alfred were there, clapping.

Alfred was cheering as well, somehow.

"That was great!" exclaimed the girl with silver hair. "My name's Yuki Sohma, and I love your dancing!"

"My name's Tohru Sohma, and I love your dancing too!" exclaimed the girl with orange hair.

We glanced at each other and blushed.

"Okay." we said, and headed off in different directions, blushing like mad.

_*Dating Advice*_

_Antonio's Perspective_

Where did Lovina learn how to tango?

Really, that was perfect.

And how long was she learning for?

Maybe as long as I was learning to sing.

I was wondering about this as I entered the house, whistling the tune of Living La Vida Loca.

And why did she look so pretty when she was laughing?

Wasn't I in love with Bella?

Wasn't I?

_*Dating Advice*_

_Lovina's Perspective_

I entered the pool in my house slowly, thinking about today.

Antonio knows how to tango, Bella's favourite dance.

Wow.

If I told her about him, she would love him from the start!

"But..."

"But what, sorella?" asked Feliciana, cutting into my thoughts.

"I said that out loud?" I asked absent-mindedly.

She nodded.

Feliciana giggled and splashed a wave of water at me.

It made me wake up and splash some back at her.

"Sorella?" asked Feliciana after a moment.

"Si?" I replied.

"I need to tell you something." she said.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Ludwig asked me to marry him, ve!" said Feliciana.

"Really." I said coldly. "What did you say?"

"Ve...yes, of course...but sorella?" asked Feliciana.

"Yes?" I asked.

"Since papa is dead...ve...would you walk me down the aisle?" asked Feliciana.

I felt my eyes tear up, and I began crying.

"J-Just shut up for a while..." I sobbed.

"Ve...did I upset you? Are you angry, sorella?" asked Feliciana.

"O-Of course I'm angry!" I shouted. "I love you, sorella, and I don't want to be left alone again!"

"Ve...sorella...I'm sorry..." said Feliciana, tearing up as well.

"God, will I always be alone!" I shouted, banging my fist in the water.

"Sorella won't be alone forever." said Feliciana gently. "You will find someone who loves you, I know! Ve...he could be right outside the door waiting for you!"

Knock knock!

We both jumped out of the water.

I pulled on a shirt quickly and answered it.

"Hi, Lov-I came at a wrong time, didn't I?" said Antonio.

I face-palmed.

"Hi, Tonio!" called Feliciana.

"Lovi, I need to ask you something." said Antonio, coming in slowly.

"Yes?" I asked, flaming red.

"Um...will you help me ask Bella out?" he asked.

"Finally, the direct method!" I shouted. "Tomorrow, tomorrow!"

He smiled at me.

"Thanks. I hope we can be friends in the future." he said.

I nodded and shoved him out.

And with him and outside, and Feliciana looking at me - I began to cry.

_*Dating Advice*_

_The Next Day..._

I entered the store to find Bella already there, still needing help with her knot.

I laughed.

"Lovina...a little help?" she asked.

I tied her knot for her and looked up.

"Hey, Bella." I said.

She looked up at me.

"Yeah?" she asked.

"So there's this guy. Antonio, remember him?" I said.

Bella nodded.

"What about him?" she asked.

"Well, he really likes you. I took the liberty to check him out for you, and he's all that you ask for, tall, cute, able to sing, and he can tango, just like you've always dreamed." I said.

Bella's eyes went wide.

"He can?" she asked.

I nodded, and she cheered.

"When will I meet him?" she asked.

"He's coming now." I assured her.

Antonio entered in, smiling.

I undid Bella's apron and pushed her towards him.

"Oh!" he exclaimed.

As they started conversation, I found that Antonio's eyes sparkled when he liked something and dulled down if he didn't.

From how many times his eyes sparkled, he really, really liked her.

Good.

Go for it, Antonio.

Get your girl.

So I found that Antonio likes girls that are sweet, kind, nice, pretty, and not messed up. Which...isn't me...

_*Dating Advice*_

**December 2011**

_Antonio's Perspective_

A year has passed.

A whole year, can you believe it?

I was dating Bella for a whole year, and everyone was jealous of me.

But you know what I found out one sunny morning?

Bella was cheating on me.

With Francis.

Francis, of course apologised, which made it slightly easier to go through, but Bella...

She actually has a dark side.

She broke up with me over the phone.

She said, I quote, "You're not good enough for me anymore. Antonio, things have changed. I have changed. Go home."

And then she hung up.

Which leaves me here, on Lovina's doorstep, a gun to my head, pleading for somebody, anybody to help me.

And she comes.

My guardian angel.

Lovina.

She's dressed in white, probably back from Feliciana's wedding.

She drops her Louis Vuitton (probably) two hundred dollar handbag into the mud and runs for me.

"'Tonio!" she shouts.

I drop the gun.

She grabs me as I fall, cradling my head in her arms.

"God, 'Tonio...how messed up are you?" I asked.

I start sobbing into her silk dress.

Lovina ruffled my hair gently, and I feel warm drops of water dropping onto my head.

"Tonio...who made you do that?" she asked.

I told her.

"...Wow. She was my best friend. I don't even..." she said in shock.

"Mm...I know..." I said.

Lovina leaves me on the doorstep, picks up the gun, picks up her (now dirty) handbag and puts the gun inside.

I look up at her as she dials a number on her telephone and starts speaking.

"It's me. I have a job for you, cariño." she said, pronouncing the Spanish word perfectly. "Yes. Yes. Her name is Bella Switzerly. Yes. You know what to do."

She hung up and flipped the phone down.

Then she held out a hand.

"Come on, Toni." she said, and pulled me up and into her house.

_*Dating Advice*_

_Lovina's Perspective_

I drag the tired Spagna onto the couch, where I took off his boots.

"Idiot Spagna." I announced, clonking him on the head with his boot.

He looks up at me pitifully and I drop the boots outside with my shoes.

"Lovi, don't be mean..." he said.

The radio begins playing a song both of us are familiar with.

I hold up my hand to Antonio.

"Dance with me, Toni." I said, and drag him up for a tango.

Once again, I let him tip me back for the ending.

Then we start laughing.

Antonio stretched and headed for the door.

"Eh, you're going home so fast?" I asked.

"I would love to stay, Lovi, but I have to get home. Mama and Papa will be worried." he said.

"At least let me drive you." I said, blocking the doorway.

"No, queirda, you've done so much for me already." said Antonio.

"Antonio. I'm driving you home." I say firmly.

He laughs and nods.

"Okay, okay." he said, and I let him get into my car and I drive him off.

_*Dating Advice*_

_Antonio's Perspective_

When Lovina walks me straight to my doorstep, my parents run and hug me tightly.

"Oh, cariño, cariño!" shouted Mama, hugging me really tightly.

"We got that note. Why would you think of doing that! And who's she?" said Papa sternly.

"Mama, Papa, this is Lovina! She helped me so much these two years!" I said.

Papa walked to Lovina, and they had a stare down.

Lovina didn't flinch or look away.

It was Papa who gave way.

"I like her, Antonio." he said.

I nodded.

"I like her too, Papa." I replied.

Lovina turned red, red like a tomato!

"Chigi...t-tomato bastardo...you...you like me?" she asked.

"No, queirda." I said, walking up to her. "Te amo."

And then I kissed her.

She was so sweet, kissing me back.

And she was so cute after that, blaming me for her blushing and saying she loved me too, and she said some stuff she didn't really mean, but she says stuff she doesn't mean a lot, 'cause that's because she's Lovi!

_*Dating Advice*_

**January 2012**

_Lovina's Perspective_

The tomato bastard came over today.

He brought tomatoes and it looked like he was hiding something.

What there was to hide, I don't know.

"Hi, Antonio." I said.

"Hi, Lovina." he replied, moving around shakily.

"Ooh, tomatoes. Wanna make some pasta?" I asked.

He nodded, and set the tomatoes on the table.

"Tonio, can you pass a couple more tomatoes?" I asked.

He nodded again, and took some for me.

"Lovi...can I ask you something?" he asked.

I looked up.

"Si?" I asked. "You can ask me _anything_, Tonio."

"Well..." he said, and he got on one knee.

He pulled out a wedding ring and looked at me.

"W-Will you marry me?" he asked. "If not...I'm sorry for asking, but I thought..."

"Antonio..." I said, looking from the ring, and then back to him." S-Shut up. Just s-stop talking."

I blushed deeply.

He blushed too, getting up.

"I should leave...lo siento, Lovi..." he said.

He frowned, sadness in his eyes as he looked down at the ring.

"You can still keep it if you want..." he said, holding it out to me.

I took it and looked down at the ground.

Antonio smiled sadly.

"I-I thought as much..." he said, turning around to leave.

But he stopped, and looked back to me.

"You never gave me an answer, a _definite _one anyways...lo siento, Lovi." he said.

"Y-You want an answer?" I asked, still looking down at the floor.

"W-Well...that would be nice, b-but..." said Antonio, looking away, fidgeting.

I clenched my hands into fists.

"Are you mad? Is your answer a no? Lo...lo siento, Lovi..." said Antonio.

"O-Of course I'm mad! Ti amo, bastardo!" I shouted angrily, pummeling my fists against his chest. "Ti. Amo. I. Love. You." I said, punctuating each word with a hit.

"Te amo, Lovi..." said Antonio, hugging me close.

"Can you...put it on for me?" I asked shyly.

He nodded, and put it on my fourth finger.

"I love you, Lovi." said Antonio.

"Ti amo, Toni." I replied, and I kissed him again.

_*Dating Advice*_

**December 2012**

_Antonio's Perspective_

So that was our story.

It wasn't quite sad, it wasn't quite happy, but we are happy.

And we will forever be happy.

_*Dating Advice*_

_Third Person Perspective_

"Tonio, Living La Vida Loca is back on!" shouted Lovina.

Antonio looked up.

"Oh, hold on!" he said loudly.

Lovina paused the song and walked inside the study room Antonio was in.

"Are you still writing that story?" she asked.

Antonio nodded happily.

"So how does it end?" asked Lovina.

Antonio merely smiled.

_*Dating Advice*_

Alfred smiled down at his daughter Allie Jones-Kirkland and his son Arthur Kirkland-Jones.

Alice walked over to them and smiled.

"Friend reunion time!" she announced, picking up little Allie from her crib, brushing a lock of dirty blonde hair away from green eyes.

Arthur toddled after her, blonde hair falling over blue eyes.

"Is everyone coming?" asked Alfred.

Alice nodded.

"Your sister with Gilbert, and Matthew and Gillian,

Ivan and Yin with Yao and Isla,

Kiku and Athena with Herakles and Kiki,

Francis and Bella with Francine and Desmond,

Feliciana and Ludwig with Feli and Lucinda,

And finally, Lovina and Antonio, with Lovino, Anita, Miguel and Mari."

Knock knock!

"Yo! It's the four most awesome people on this planet!" shouted Gilbert, carrying his white haired, violet eyed daughter Gillian Beilschmidt-Williams.

Miranda came in holding blonde haired, red eyed Matthew Williams-Beilschmidt's hand.

"Hi, Alfred." she said, as her brother enveloped her in a huge hug.

They were followed by Ivan and Yin, Yin carrying black haired, purple eyed Yao Wang-Braginski and Ivan holding silver haired brown eyed Isla Braginski-Wang.

Next was Kiku and Athena. Kiku was holding black haired blue eyed Kiki Honda-Karpusi while Athena was holding brown haired, brown eyed Herakles Karpusi - Honda on her back.

Francis and Bella came a while later, blonde haired blue eyed Desmond Switzerly-Bonnefoy with Francis and blonde haired green eyed Francine Bonnefoy-Switzerly followed Bella.

Feliciana and Ludwig followed next, brown haired blue eyed Feli Vargas - Beilschmidt bounding in first, followed by his more level headed blonde haired amber eyed sister Lucinda Beilschmidt-Vargas.

And finally Lovina and Antonio came in, brown haired green eyed Lovino Vargas - Fernandez coming in first, followed by Miguel Fernandez, a spitting copy of Lovino. He was followed by Anita Fernandez -Vargas, Lovino and Miguel's brown haired and amber eyed sister and Mari Vargas, Anita's twin.

Feliciana cooed.

"Ah, two sets of twins! How cute!" she said.

Lovina smiled.

"Thank you." she said.

And their reunion went on.

"And how does this story end?" asked Lovina.

"This story ends with the beginning of our children's and two words." said Antonio.

"And what words are those?" asked Lovina.

Mari snuggled in her father's lap.

"That's easy!" she giggled. "The End."


End file.
